Bobby-pins, oh bobby-pins, where have you gone?
In your hopeless times of need, in your dire moments of hair assistance, you reach desperately into your drawer or handbag and find... nothing. Its the age old question: where the hell are my bobby-pins?
This issue has had girls scratching their brows in bewilderment for decades, thousands of decades I'm sure. As my many, brief calls to the 'missing persons unit' have ended in a harsh dial-tone; I have decided to investigate myself.
First Suspect: Bobby-pin Thief.
He would be tall, dark and charming. A man so alluring that he whisks himself promptly into your life, and while you turn your back to fetch him a beverage, he swipes your much-needed hair pins and hides them in his suit jacket. Then, like all charming men, he ups and disappears; the perfect killer.
Motive: His full head of smooth, masculine hair would need upkeep too.
Second Suspect: Bobby-pin Fairy.
Same deal with the Tooth-Fairy: small, cunning, invisible and very believable. Flies through your window late at night and into your bobby-pin stash; leaving behind not gold coins, but complete and utter despair.
Motive: Like the Tooth-Fairy, building materials for their cute cottages.
Third Suspect: Teenage Bobby-pin Love.
We've all been there; young, beautiful love. A slightly scandalous relationship that worries your parents and fills you with wonderful first experiences. This too happens to all young bobby-pins, they fall deeply pin-love and run away ; they're like the Dish and the Spoon.
Motive: Kisses.
Fourth Suspect: The Expiration Date.
It's a sad thing, but nearly everything has an expiration date. An inconvenient passing away of your morning milk, those seemingly timeless heels... and now your beloved bobby-pins. Thus, like your dairy products, bobby-pins have an expiry date, and when they lose their freshness they just disappear.
Motive: Freshness.
So, which suspect is the culprit? Have you come across a charming man with irregularly great hair? Or is it simply any one of the suspects, as long as there is something to blame? I think so. So as our bobby-pins come to their sad end, I say resort to keeping them in a titanium box in a safe, under the floorboards or behind a painting. This way no one can get to them, not even a fairy... or possibly you.
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